Another Day

Today was the last day of school. De's graduation was ok, it was hot and stuffy in the gym, and we were late so of course we couldn't see a damn thing. It took way too long, but went off without a hitch. Thankfully we could pick up their grade cards and sign them out.

After fifth grade graduation I took Thomas to the library for story hour. He had a great time, I'm glad I went, this will have to be a weekly thing. I had wanted to take James too, but he wasn't ready and we needed to leave.

Sherrie came with me to the middle school to see what she could do about Marilyns' computer. Not a lot, but she made Marilyn happy by showing her some things. I was outside with the kids signing yearbooks. I had a good time, I am loved. :D

Unfortunately Tom is still feeling bad, if not worse than he was. He has been on antibiotics since Tuesday, and he keeps getting worse. He had a fever last night, been hot and not able to eat, sick to his stomach. I am really worried about him.

Jackie and Liz are getting ready the dance tonight. I am so excited, three boys asked Elizabeth "to save a dance for me" I wish she would go to these things with a boy. Of course when she gets older I'm definitely NOT going to want that, but at this age, it's nice. :)

OK. I would write more, but my ass is getting all sweaty and sticking to this chair, guess I'll come back later.

Why does she do this?

I wish I understood my daughter better. She is Ten, almost eleven. She doesn't want to live in my house, she refuses to treat anyone in this house with any respect, she is constantly telling everyone in this house she hates them and she hates it here, she is not content having anything less than 100% attention, she fights with me at every turn, she claims I yell at her all the time. During her most recent tantrum she told me she would rather live on the street than here, she didn't want me to come to her fifth grade graduation tomorrow, and if I did come she wouldn't go. I just don't know how I am going to deal with puberty. :sigh: She already lives with my mom (for those of you who don't know). It was supposed to help her, and it doesn't seem to have at all. She is in therapy, it doesn't seem to help. I want my daughter home, but I also want her to stop causing problems for my family. She causes so much stress and grief, fighting and pain. Everyone seems to yell and fight when she's here, and when she leaves the boys hit and scream and say things that they heard her say, things none of them should be saying.

What an evening :)

Sigh, it's been a so-so day, but tonight after dinner was sooo nice. It reminded me of the days before Tom got sick. We were all hot and cranky after dinner, so we decided to do what we did last night, that is take the boys out front in the yard in their swimsuits and hose them off. This time Sher and I got into our suits too and Tony just stayed in his shorts and we all ran around the yard like nuts letting Tom spray us with the hose. Then we decided Tom needed to be wet too, sweats and all, and wrestled the hose away from him. He ran in the house and, amazingly, came back out in shorts and a t-shirt to join in the fun. At that point Thomas had the hose and was dousing all the adults and loving it! The fun we had was so much like the early days, Tom laughing, running around. It really cheered me up. I miss those days, the fun days. It just seems like so much anymore there is so much stress and worry we never have any fun.

On another happy note, I have all my grades in. A in Physical, Health and Sensory Disabilities, and English, and Old Testament, and Sociology; B in Foundations of Education; C in Art Appreciation. I was robbed on the Art grade. I hate that man. But I still have a 3.5 GPA, so my scholarship is still safe.

I love Tom, he makes me sooo HAPPY!

Yeah, A's! Happy Dance Time!!!

Ahhhh, The semester is finally over. Just one more final, and that's a paper I have to turn in tomorrow. I already have 3 of my grades! Two of them are A's and I am soooo happy. I've been doing the happy A dance all afternoon. Of course the C in Art Appreciation is soooo not deserved, but I'm not going to dwell, (or I really will have Tony go beat the guy up!) One of the classes I thought for sure I'd get a B in, the other was dependent on how well I did on the final. So I am really glad it's over. I just have 3 more grades to wait for. What a relief, it's over! Ok, well except for my stupid paper on Horace Mann. I really don't want to do it, I have procrastinated about it as long as possible, so I guess I have to do it.

My subbing job was changed from tomorrow until Thursday. I'm hoping I don't get called tomorrow, just so I can sleep late, and take Tom to the doctor. I want to know the results of the test and to see what Dr Merwin wants to do. I worry about what he wants to do, because I don't want Tom any more depressed than he already is, although he's been less depressed for a few days.

Money matters are REALLY bad right now. Somehow we blew through the tax return without realizing it and we are overdrawn at the bank and have bills to pay, and Prudential isn't sending anymore disability checks until they get some more info from the doctors. I think I will start looking for a part-time job or even a full time job in the next week. If I get a job before Tony I'm not going to be happy, just because we really need him to work for us to survive and he's not, and he doesn't seem to be all that concerned about it. I worry too much. First things first, Horace Mann, then job. One thing at a time I keep telling myself.

Tony and Tom and I are going to work on defrosting the freezer and moving it to the laundry room and putting in the cabinets in there. I want so much to get done at the house and yet I have to push and push. I hate pushing. Sigh. So much work to be done, so little money and motivation to do it.

No!NO!NO!NO! I will not let myself get down! Remember I am happy :D Ok smiling, that's better. Had to get up and do the happy dance again. Now I must go make tea and sides for dinner. I love a man who cooks! All I have to do is make sides :) And he is such a gooood cook! I love him.