Good morning. Tis’ a beautiful morning! : D Last night was FANTASTIC!!!! We had great sex twice yesterday! I mean GREAT. I was screaming Tom’s name at 4 am this morning, not even thinking about waking the kids. I love have great sex but twice in one day is even better. The first time was once earlier in the afternoon, not able to scream, but good none the less.

Our day, yesterday, was a bit rough, but the night got much better. We spent the day cleaning the boys’ room and the living room. Then started on the kitchen. Felt good to get all that accomplished. After a delicious dinner that none of the kids liked, but Tom and me loved, we put the boys to bed. Liz wanted to play Mario Party 4. We started that at 9 and finished at close to 11, had a good time playing though. Mario Party is always a good time to be had by all: D. Then Tom and I were reading and watching I Love the 70’s and realize that Queer Eye was coming on at 2:30…. Had to see it! I absolutely LOVE that show! It is so hilarious! And Tom loves it too, so it’s fun to watch together. I hope Sherrie has seen it. I think she would love it too. 10pm on Tuesday nights on Bravo;) Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. www.bravo.com has more info. about it on there sight. Anyway…after that we went downstairs to read some more. I was still feeling a bit frisky so when the book was over at about 3 I started with Tom…. He can’t resist;). And OMG we had some fantastic foreplay and sex, you know the scream my name type. And we did much of it. We didn’t end up turning out the lights to go to bed until almost 5. Unfortunately for me, the boys were up at around 8:30, and one of us has to be responsible. So here I am, having coffee and watching the boys and PBS… At least I have the computer uninterrupted for a bit. We do have more work to do today, so I won’t get to be on much today. I was really hoping Sherrie would be on this morning, but no such luck. :(

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So my day started out good and got progressively worse. Ok, so today was the first day of classes. I was nervous, but once I got there, it was good. I really like the English teacher, seems like it will be a fun class. Algebra seems so hard. We took a little quiz, to see how we would do, and if we should really be in there. I couldn’t remember anything! Plus I was the last one done, and that made me late for my next class. It really sucked. The next class was cool; I liked the teacher, Intro. To Sec. Ed. Was interesting, he likes handouts. I will have to do 25 hours practicum for this class. After that class I had an hour until my next one, so I came home to see my guys :-) So I spent about 40 min with Thomas and Tom. Then back to class and my special ed class. Seems like an interesting enough class, and the prof. is likeable, however, this class also has 25 practicum hours that goes along with it. After that class, I went to BK and got a double cheeseburger and some onion rings, yummmmmm. And hung out until 6, when my last class of the day is, Psych 206. Like the prof. Interesting class, sounds to be a bit difficult homework wise, but we only meet once a week, so its a lot of homework. Another drawback….10 hours of practicum! When the hell am I going to find time to go to school, do homework, sub, do Girl Scouts, raise my kids, clean my house, cook dinner, do laundry, etc????????? I have 60 hours of unpaid work here!I am exhausted just thinking about it. Then I call the house and mom starts in on me about how much of a mes mine is. What am I going to do? I need help! We need money. I need a maid, a babysitter who won’t judge. Anyway, there was a really cute guy in my last class, John. He was nice, we talked some before and after class. He is going to be a High School History teacher. He was nice and we had a lot in common. It was really nice having a conversation like that with someone. I really like Psych anyway, and he and Kristin, will make it fun. He was behind me, she was beside. And for the first time all day I wasn’t the oldest one in the class. He let class out early tonight, we won’t normally be out until 10. But tonight he let us go at 7:45. I wanted to stay late. I didn’t want to come home and put the kids to bed. All in all it was a pretty great first day of school :D
I came home and mom did all this stuff, and she pionted out every little crumb she picked up. Which sucked, I really would have just liked to enjoy the fact that she picked up for me. Then she told me how Ellie was complaining about the house being a mess (the hypocritical bitch!) And how Ellie was going to make Tom bring the kids to her, because she didn’t want to watch them here. I wanted to call and cuss at her. Then Mom kept saying how much Thomas needed a bath, and how filthy he was, etc. Like I never bathe the kid. Hell he’s 4, he goes outside daily, he gets dirty! Oh well, the boys got a bath. The house is quiet now, all is good.

Today was orientation and registration. Got that over with, what a relief. It was ok. Orientation was pretty boring but not horrible. The lunch they provided was yummy. I then went to financial aide to make sure they had the money that they needed to have for me to be able to go there. Evidently, what I saw and how it is dispersed is different, so I need more money. I will have to take out a small student loanƒ¼. But they did give me an academic scholarship because of my GPA at KBC and other moneys, so that the money I have to borrow is less. I also found out that absolutely NONE of my credits from KBC would transfer over, because they were not yet accredited when I was there. So I am a lowly Freshman, instead of the Sophomore or even Junior I had hoped to be. I remember that when I was there they had the people through trying to see if they could be accredited. But evidentially, they got their accreditation after I graduated, so NONE of my previous course work counts!! ARRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!! One or two bad things can make all the good things null.

Ok, on with my day; I registered and was done with that around 3, I called home, hoping to catch Tom before he left for work, and found him home and pissed. Ellie forgot she was going to baby-sit. She can be so unreliable. So he was late for work.

Ok, back to school. I decided, on that campus I am gonna lose a lot of weight! The buildings are too close together to drive but just far enough to give you a workout. Whew, and those hills, they don¡¦t look like much, but walking up them, sure worked up a sweat. Course it was pushing 90 today. So I went and got my parking tag, I¡¦ll need to give them my tag # when I get one, and my student ID, of course they were up 3 flights of stairs. After I did that I went to the bookstore and spent, OMG, $402.00 on books! I can¡¦t believe it!

All my classes are on MWF or some variation there of. I have one Wednesday night class. My classes are Writing & Literary Studies 1 MWF 11am, College Algebra 1 MWF 12pm, Intro. To Secondary Education MW 1pm, Survey of Persons with Exceptionalities MW 3pm, And Human Development thru the Lifespan W 6pm.

I am so terrified I can hardly stand it. I am so afraid of letting everyone down. It seems like so many people count on me and believe in me, but I am having such a hard time believing in myself. This is all so scary. What if I fail. I have to keep a 3.0 GA to keep the academic scholarship, what if I can¡¦t? When am I going to take care of my family? How are we going to have enough income to survive? I will have to find a part time job other than sub work to bring in some money, but then when will I see Tom? And the kids? Elizabeth is already responsible for so much, can she handle much more? Do you see why I am scared, why I am questioning the wisdom of this decision. This may be what I want to do, but is it right? It is in the long run, but it is hard to keep the long r

I just got back from dropping Elizabeth off to school. While there Mom asked me to stop by her room to give me something. Last night De wanted to buy mue some earrings for good luck, which I thought was really sweet. It was after that, when Mom said, "don't say anything about what I told you last night to anyone." I asked her why. She said the Team B teachers didn't want me to be hurt or upset by it! So not only did that bitch say something about me to Marilyn but to all the team B teachers, and God knows what other teachers! All over some lotion! It is so lucky that I already know these people (and that they really don't like her) and they like me. But think of the damage she could do to someone who doesn't know there way around! She is a damn bitch! I hope she gets fired, and I would like to be a part of it! Ok, I have vented. I feel better.

I need to get in a better frame of mind for my orientation in a little while. I'm about to be a college student again. :D Time to pick my classes, get my parking tag, pick up my books, get a student ID, etc. WOOOHOOOO. I'll let you know all abot it when I get home!

Ok, now that Luvie has made me such a beautiful new blog, I am going to have to blog more. I guess I should update the last week or two. So much has happened. I did get that app. into Carson Newman. I go to Orientation tomorrow! The Pell grant came through so I don't have to pay for it either! I am so excited. All that's left is to pick my classes. I will meet with the financial aide person and my advisor tomorrow also. I am all keyed up. So excited. I don't know what to do! I am actually going to be a TEACHER!

Speaking of which.... I subbed for Marilyn Dyer last week, on my birthday. There was an incident that I was involved in, that I didn't even know about until today! Apparently, during class someone was putting on lotion, I didn't know who and told the class "I don't know what smells or who has it but whatever it is put it away now." Apparently it was Ms. Carol, the aide for an autistic child. Well the bitch had the nerve to call Marilyn over the weekend and tell her that she "didn't like her choice of substitutes" I can't believe her shit! I asked mom to let Marilyn know that I didn't know that it was her putting on lotion, because I didn't until I had already said what I said. Mom came over a little while ago and told me that Marilyn said that Ms Carol said "She knew it was me putting on lotion and she did it on purpose just to embarrass me. And she really embarrassed me, all the kids were looking at me." Then she had the nerve to tell her "She was horrible to the ESL kid” I was not! But of course she doesn't say anything to me on Friday. The bitch. Marilyn told her I was subbing for her again on Thursday. :P To that she replied that she might have to have one of the other aides come in with Kayla. Not that she was in there or was any help to her at all anyway. I hope they soon see her for what she is and fire her.

Let's see, in other news.... Tom went back to work tonight. I miss him. It was so nice having him around. It really bites with him back to work. But we need the money, we need the money BAD!

I finally posted boobie pics at WWdN. I am so proud: D. Got lots of responses. Woohoo! I am being a big flirt and it's fun and I love it. I needed to make my life more interesting and it got that way in a BIG way!

Kim came down for a visit. She and Patrick are considering moving down here. That would be great!

Alora is going home finally after being here for the summer, it was good to be with her again, she is a good girl. And Julia is getting bigger. I can tolerate my SIL, Allison much better now. But she was only here for a few days.

See so much happening.

Ok, here's the new page layout, down so wonderfully by LUVLUV!!!!!!!

Ahhhhhh. The school year has started. The first day is over. Yesterday was great for Liz, so I am happy for her. She was so happy when she came home. She had a great day.

I got the information from Carson Newman in the mail today. I filled out all the forms. Now all I have to do is send them back and get myself some money to go there. I want to teach so badly, but I am so afraid to move forward. Staying inert is so much easier.I felt like a slug yesterday. I did nothing. I even took a nap. But I have to move forward now. The sooner I move forward with my life, the sooner my life will begin to improve. I must look forward. Onward and upward. I want to lay down and take a nap now, I am so tired, but I know I shouldn't, so I won't. I must do. Let me get off the computer and clean, mow the lawn, something! Moving will help wake me up. And moving forward will help disspell the fear.

Oh hell. Today was registration day for the girls. It was hectic. Not happy getting up that early. I only got 5 hours sleep. The girls decided to bicker over every little thing this morning. Why can't they just get along? They just kept bickering, and I have such a headache. And yesterday Tom and I were actually thinking about having De come back home, but I'm not sure with all the other stresses right now, that I could handle having her home all the time. She was here yesterday, and it was horrible. When she and Liz get together all they do is fight and argue. I get tears from each of them at least once a day. I wish I knew how to handle DeAnne better. She told is yesterday, that she didn't think we loved her. How can she feel that way when none of the other children feel that way. I try so hard to make sure I so each of them love and attention. It is just never enough for her. I feel so inadequate as a parent with her.

Yesterday Ellie came over and got Tom depressed, which upsets me. She is so down on him, has absolutly no faith in her son. I want so much for him to go back to school and do something with his brain, and he is trying to decide what he wants to do, he tells his mother and she downs him. Why can't she just be supportive? Speaking of Tom, he should have had enough rest by now, (bad night last night so I let him sleep) I better go get him up... Later :)

Ok, so much has happened over the last few days!

Took the kids to the zoo on Saturday. Liz, De, Thomas, James, & even Alora. Had a great time, it was quite a trip. We haven't been to the zoo in soo long. It was a wonderful time. Then we decided to go out to eat afterwards, just to Golden Corral. It was there I discovered that my wallet was gone, missing, nowhere on my person. I had it at the Bunny exhibit because I bought something and put all my cash in it from my pockets. Then we went to the petting zoo, and it was unattended in the stroller under the diaper bag and the gift that I bought at the bunny exhibit, but still unattended. That is the only place I can imagine that it could have gotten stolen. I called the zoo, and it hasn't been turned in. So I spent Monday at the bank, calling credit card companies, etc. trying to take care of it. I think my major problem is it had all my pictures of Monica in it. Those I can't replace.I wish someone would turn it in. Also my last paycheck got stolen, so I had Dad put a stop on it.

We went to the county fair last night. Not horrible, but more for teenagers. I don't much care for it since I didn't ride any rides and just had to talk to Ellie. The girls had a good time though. We didn't leave until after 11, Ellie disappeared and we couldn't find her, kept looking for her. Then once we got home, the girls were up until 1. They kept asking me, facts of life questions, so as a dutiful mother (and Aunt) I answered. I hope Theresa doesn't get angry at some of the things I informed her child of. Oh well, at least she learned from me, not behind the school, or in an alley.

All the girls are at Moms now, Thomas too, swimming. I have to pick them up before dinner. Tom is rotissing a chicken, yum yum. So the house is quiet.

Shit, Tom read what I wrote at Wil about the Blog thing. Now I feel guilty. Shit. Guess I don't post what I don't want him to read. Got to censor myself more, maybe start a new Blog too. Shit.

Wow. Today was the end of an era. My last day working for Dad. It doesn't seem like it. It doesn't feel like the end. Oh well come Monday, and I have no job to go to it will. Today was such a long day. I had to get up extra early and help Mom with her yard sale so she could go to work, then I went to work when she got off. So I worked from 12:30 until 4:30, then Mom picked me up for the Deanery board meeting. It was a good meeting, but we didn't get back to my car until 8:30. Then Jerry showed up and we talked for awhile. So I didn't leave the store until 9:30 and get home until almost 10. I was worn out, I walked in the house and got naked. It felt good to have no clothes on. Had good conversation with Mom in the car. I like riding with her, we always get more talked about in the car than any other time, always has been that way. Tom is long in bed. He took a sleeping pill, but I couldn't sleep. I am finally winding down, I think I can sleep now.

I hope so, I am gonna need all the rest I can get for our little trip to the zoo tomorrow. At this point in time it's me, Tom and 5 kids, if Tom is feeling up to it. If he isn't I only lose 1 kid and him. I sure hope he is still feeling ok in the morning. Hell I'm gonna be exhausted if I don't get to bed soon! The zoo will be fun. Thomas, Alora and James have never been, and it's been awhile for Liz and De, me and Tom too for that matter. I can't wait! Oh well, off to bed, so I can rest up for our trip. Night night. I'll fill you in tomorrow :D