OK Don't have the Blog from the 12th but here is FRIDAY JUNE 13th longhand Blog:

I am so bad. After yesterday's fiasco (my fight with Dad and leaving at 1) I got to work at noon because I wanted to be here as little as possible. Dad left at 12:30, but as still back by 2:30. Mary still hasn’t shown up. She’s called in every afternoon with some excuse or another. At least he’s giving Mary another chance. Maybe her coming back will make work more bearable. Dad has a sign on the door looking for office help. I want to get someone trained ASAP so I can leave & not feel guilty.

I was kinda peeved when Jerry told me that dad told him I left early yesterday because I wasn’t feeling well :P I’m not feeling well now! Probably that sandwich from 2 days ago that I just ate. I’m still hungry though.

Good golly it’s hot in here, he needs to turn on the AC. I think I’ll let Tom turn on the AC at home too. It’s just that our electric bill has been so high lately.

I am irritated with Dad for all the little things. Plus he keeps promising me he’ll do stuff at my house: Jerry will do stuff, but it never happens. Jerry has been to Trish’s house 14 times! He’s been to my house twice, I think. I bought all the stuff to move my washer and dryer (not that I could tell you where it is right now) 6 months ago, have they been moved? NO of course not! Dad is paying Jerry $12 an hour to build 2x4 shelves for Trish’s garage. Did he promise my kids swings 5 years ago? Is it built? He paid Jerry to hang Trish’s hanging baskets, but have my French drain been dug, that he promised me would be done?

I talked to mom this morning on my way to work, she thinks it’s because I am doing to him what she did so many years ago….start subbing then leaving him.

Becoming a brainless drone is hard when you are an intelligent woman. I keep repeating over and over “it’s not my place, it’s not my place” or “it’s none of my business, it’s none of my business”. This is what he said to me during our fight yesterday. That the service side of the business was “None of my business and it wasn’t my place to ask questions.”! But don’t get me started on that again!

I am trying to stay one step ahead of him; anticipate what he’ll want/need, do what he wants before he asks, but still I am getting nowhere. Jerry smiled and gave me thumbs up when I had already done what Daddy asked. (It just seems to annoy Dad that I am doing what he wants before he asks) It’s like Jerry is afraid to speak too. We whisper to each other behind dad’s back. It’s stupid & almost unbearable. It’s hard not to talk. The silence is hanging heavy in the air. We are not speaking to each other at all, not small talk; not work talk, no niceties, nothing. It’s like a curtain of silence has fallen. It’s miserable.

I will call Debbie Berry (Director of Special Education) as soon as John leaves again. (He never did, so I never could). I will ask about a job at Food Lion when I go shopping later (never went shopping) I am sooo tired of all the tension in the pit of my stomach & no that isn’t hunger :-)

And that damndable inbox is EMPTY!!!!!! Of course now my desk has 3 ft of shit piled on it, but hey, now he can quit bitchin about that fucking inbox!!!

I wish Tom and I could be alone tonight. The girls will be gone; maybe we can put the boys to bed early! I just wish we could go out…. It doesn’t help that I am REALLY hungry right now!

Well home at last and we closed the windows and turned on the AC. Tom and I had a nice night, we played Trivial Pursuit, which took 4 hours, but I finally won. Stupid yellow and brown questions. All in all it was a great night.