So much going on. I am really disappointed with my grades. I made 2 A's and 3 B's. I really feel that 2 of those B's should have been A's, but what can I do? I could re-take the classes, but I mean B's aren't that bad, just disappointing. :( The 2 A's I already knew for sure I would get. :sigh: Oh well. I also sold back all my books, and still can't find the English 202 book for next semester. I don't want to but it new. I am trying not to be disappointed with my grades, I had so hoped they would cheer me up, but it didn't.

The bunkbed my parents ordered for the boys was supposed to come today, so we took down their needs, emptied their room, to get ready for the delivery guys. The bed was supposed to come this morning. At noon when they still weren't here, I called to see when they would be here. They won't! Apparently the order was cancelled MONDAY and no one bothered to tell us! I called Dad and he said it was about something that happened with Adrienne's bed "years ago", but he was not in a good mood and wouldn't tell me more, except that they will be getting the boys bed from Chattanooga, sometime in the future??? That sucks, now we have to set up Thomas' bed and get a rail so James can sleep in it, and Thomas will have to sleep in DeAnne's room until further notice. That is the only thing I can think of to do.

The bad news just keeps coming in droves! Tony and Sherrie have no clue when they will be able to get here. It keeps getting pushed back and pushed back, I don't know what to think anymore. I'm not sure if I should even hope that they are coming. :( I know it's something that can't be helped, but that doesn't keep my hopes up.

We owe so much in bills I don't know what to do, other than call my uncle and borrow it from him. I can't borrow from my parents this close to Christmas, and Tom's parents won't let us borrow it, I'm not sure they even have it for us to borrow. I just want to pay off all the bills so people will stop calling trying to get us pay bills that we don't have the money to pay. I'm ready to turn off the phone just to make the calls stop.

Can you tell the depression is hitting hard this Christmas? I hate the holidays. My house is a shambles, I have no decorations up, Tom has worked every day since December 8th, and won't be off until Christmas Eve. I'm not sure if I have gotten everyone presents yet. I have so much to do before Christmas, even just the little chores seem overwhelming.

I dread going to the families houses for Christmas. Not looking forward to dealing with my sisters, though they are mad at each other, and I don't think they have made up yet, so it might not be leave Monica out of EVERY conversation, unless it's about how loud and ungrateful her children are, this year. Ok so I hate holidays, every single last one of the good awful things. I was kinda looking forward to New Years, but if I can't get and keep my house clean and decorated, there will be no party this year.

We haven't had wood in days, so the house has been cold. Central heat and air just doesn't cut it when it's below 40, and it's been in the 30's and below lately. Plus it's snowing in M'town, and moving this way. It's supposed to snow all day today and all night tonight. Tom and Patrick went up to Tom and Ellies to get wood, at the very least fill up the mini van. That will keep us for a few days, until we can get a pick-up load. Filling up Tom's trunk only did us for a about 2 days. We've been burning pallets, but they burn quickly. I hope Tom will have enough time to start a fire when he gets back.

Went out with mom and the girls last night and they pissed mom off so bad that it was no fun, even though I got 3 new pairs of shoes. They just wouldn't stop the back-biting and bickering. And Elizabeth was being an ingrate and disrespectful. I don't know what to do about it because she doesn't see that she is doing anything wrong. At least De apologizes when she behaves badly, but Liz doesn't even she that she is in the wrong and needs to apologize. :sigh: What am I going to do with her?

:sigh: Think I'll go try to make my kitchen usable. :( I have no great desire to clean. But I have to stop this before I start crying. Besides the boys are probably hungry. I'm off to the kitchen.