Ah, it's been a long week. I haven't had a whole lot of time, and no computer time that wasn't spent doing school work. I am on the computer at school tonight because I am avoiding going home. I KNOW ellie is not there with the kids yet, and I REALLY am not wanting to deal with her. I am just waiting until I'm pretty sure she has them home and hopefully in bed. Shouldn't be too much longer now. The Art Appreciation teacher lets out way too early. I would think this is good most of the time, but not when I want to relax, not deal with kids. It does give me extra time to spend at the library doing homework from other classes, which is what I have been doing until now. I am finished with all computer aided work...I think. The rest of the crap is reading. So much damn reading this time! Oh well, that's what I get for taking 6 classes. Wouldn't ya know it. I like my classes, and all my teachers. I think the sexy Art teacher is going to be the biggest pain though. He wants major participation, and no one wants to put themselves on the line and offer an opinion. Of course me and some of the older students don't care, but this is a huge class with only a few old ladies doing the talking.

I hope Sher isn't avoiding me. I think I am just paranoid, but it seems like whenever I call, no one answers. I know they aren't out or sleeping ALL the time. I called today just between classes to chat for a few, and no one was home, anytime I called. I hope I'm not getting on their nerves. My insecurity is really showing now. I think part of that is not knowing anybody again this semester. It sucks to start to get to know people then change all your classes and know no-one again, especially when you are the oldest in all your classes and don't really fit in. Dr. Carpenter (English) thinks I should write an article about that for the school paper. I thin I might, but that is a scary proposition too. It's been a long time since I have written for a school paper, or anything for a paper other than a press release! Anybody have any thoughts on that?


I feel fat lately. I hope I'm not gaining back any of the weight I have lost. That would suck! I have just had those "I feel fat" days for the past couple of days. Maybe it's because I have been eating more junk, and not eating on a regular schedule. It could be because I have been depressed and frustrated and feeling at wits end lately. There is so much I want to accomplish and sometimes it seems like no one is there to help me with my burden. Tom has been dizzy ALOT lately and I want so much to help him, but I can't do anything for him and that makes me feel helpless. School is going to be harder and more time consuming this semester, and I have to do that on my own. The house always looks like a tornado hit it, and no one seems to care but me, and I just don't have time to do anything about it. I have to get De's room empty again, but the thought of going in there makes me want to cry. It's just not a one person job, and no one seems to care about it but me...maybe De, but she doesn't want to help me because its "not my stuff, it's the boys stuff" I can understand that, but with help, I could get it done. Elizabeth is becoming more of the insolent teenager, refusing to do what she's asked, talking back, being a snot nose, being uncooperative. It's like pulling teeth to get her to do anything, and then she complains and mumbles the entire time she's doing it.

Ok, I had better stop now, I didn't intend this to be the poor me tirade it turned into.