Longhand Blog 7/30/03

I am really hurt. I was informed, luckily early, that Gerald was taking Dad, Jerry and Cindy out to lunch. Not me, cause I won’t be working here anymore. Now I know what that conversation I over-heard yesterday was about. It really hurts that Dad is so happy to see me go. I guess I just want to know he’ll miss me and need me, not that I am so easily replaced and put aside. The lunch thing with Gerald bothers me because Gerald is my favorite rep. I really like him, and Dad blew me out of it yesterday. Oh well, I think I blew me out of it today. They all just left for lunch and I was working on the computer, Dad said something about the four of us going, but I was mad at him and not really paying attention. I’m not sure if he meant Gerald and the 3 of them or all 4 of us. (I found out today that I was not included and I was never meant to be included.) Anyway, I was entering some information into the computer and they just left so I guess I wasn’t included. I don’t want to cry over this but I am. It’s just stupid lunch. But why does it matter so much to me? I was so looking forward to seeing Gerald one last time. I hate being treated like a nobody who doesn’t matter to anybody!

Now I am REALLY GLAD I brought the cookies with me. It’s 3:30 and they are still not back from lunch yet!!!!! This so sucks!!!!!! (They finally got back at 4:40, they were gone from 1:20)

Oh well we did have some people in while they were gone so at least I am being useful! But mostly I am sitting here feeling sorry for myself doing nothing. I feel a little better, I deleted some boobie pics off of his computer. :P Serves him right.

When I got to Mom’s to pick up the kids she needed to talk to me. She thinks I resent her for something. I don’t know what. I don’t think I have been cold towards her, but she says I have. I don’t know, I guess I have to try to be better. She had some good suggestions once we got some of the things that were bothering her and me out of the way. She thinks I should go ahead and start school now, and work a full time job, if Tom is home it can be done, even if he is not, she can watch the boys after school. I really should do it now. It will take at least 3 years to get the degree that I want, but once I do, I can work anywhere I want to. I’ll have to call the schools, get the financial aid info, etc., and do it fast. More later.